ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
