I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
