He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So squirting runs in the family.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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