So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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