ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
