You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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