pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
