i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
