He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
