I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
