Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
