I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
