think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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