found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
