im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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