i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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