i already hear my dad disowning me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Found your dick twin last night
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
please don't ironically join a cult
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