Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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