Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
