May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
