There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
