if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
