Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
