she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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