Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize