I'm going to jail i love you
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
