This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Sober January is a disaster.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
