I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
cat food counts as protein by the way
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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