why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize