ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
