walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
