hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't deserve a penis
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
