I hate all girls vehemently.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
don't judge my taste in strippers
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
