I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
What happened to fro yo and sex?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
