Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
