Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
