her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im holly from the hills drunk
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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