I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
