Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
