Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
