Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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