let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I cut my penus on the lid.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My liver just had a heart attack.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
