I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
