It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
