I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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