I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
