high people should be assigned attendants
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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