A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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