Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
