can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
