He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
