I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
