It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
