I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize