Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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