Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
