You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
