There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
