I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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