If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Michael Bay diarrhea
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
