My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
