He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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