Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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