So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
