My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
