love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
