This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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